A letter to a volleyball parent

 As a parent, I found it hard not to coach my child. I did a few things to help him. First, I never tried to critique the coaches he had. Second, I made sure my son understood the coach is working on team building, and the player's job is to do whatever the coach thinks the player must do to help the team succeed. Players need to do the right thing for the team, which might be different from their selfish desires or wants. That is an excellent lesson that sports teach. It is not about you. It is about the team. The decision to be a setter or hitter is not a decision that belongs to the player no matter how much they wish. If the setter is what they would like to play, they need to train outside team activities to develop their setting skills until they are at a level that the coach will notice and then place them in that role. Talking about it is easy. It has to be earned. The skills in volleyball or any sport take time to develop, and players have to put in the time. The players must develop all their skills by touching the ball way more than others. Touch the ball on their own, do the home training, work on fitness, work on agility, and do more than the other players, earn the position they are interested in by putting in the time. If a player has problems serving, how much time outside of team practices and games has she works on the skill? If she has not, the blame does not rest on the parent, coach, teammates or anyone other than themself. It takes time, effort, and self-motivation to develop to the point that a player, through action, not words, will be a valuable contributing member to a team in any role a coach sees to make the team successful. If players believe they can only contribute in a single position and feels when placed in another, it is a demotion, then mentally they are thinking more about what is good for them and not what is best for the team. Coaches, coach, player play, parent parent.   Coaches will take the skills that players bring to the team and use them in the best way for the team to succeed. Parents provide the opportunity to allow their children to work towards success and love their children.

As a parent, I only shared how I thought my son played when he asked. I tried not to say anything until asked. That was so hard for me. I always tried to support the coaches by reinforcing playing time is earned, not a right. Then promoted and encouraged him to develop his skills by providing opportunities and teaching him what it means to be a team player. A selfish athlete should pick individual sports, not team sports. As a parent, we need to provide opportunities, love and support. Teach your child that anything of value needs to be earned, and the child will need to step up on their own to achieve.

Please do not take any of the above comments as me telling you how to raise your child. I had all the answers on how to raise a child until I had my own. Now, I am going back and apologizing to all the people I made suggestions to when I thought I knew everything.

As far as the academy sessions go, put her in as many sessions as possible (a little self-promotion)

As far as club tryouts go, check with the SVA for more information. They are occurring already in some clubs.  

I hope this helps.

No real answers. A little wisdom but still learning.